Happy Birthing Day, Mom, & thanks for the different choices you made

Happy Birthing day, Mom, and happy “you are now a dad” day, Dad! 9.8.76. Don’t I have the coolest birthdate? 50 years ago my mom gave birth to me with my dad at her side. She was doing things totally differently from her mom. She said she was quite the hippy (though they weren’t full-on 60’s-style flower child hippies). My mom was born in 1950, pulled out by forceps, and breech I believe, her mom “couldn’t breastfeed/wasn’t interested” and my mom’s system didn’t even tolerate the formula as a baby. I like to say 1950 was not a great time to be having babies because of the systems of patriarchy!

26 years later she gave birth to me, naturally, after taking Lamaze classes with my dad during pregnancy. They even had a photographer taking all the intimate pictures. My mom decided she would breastfeed and found support through the local Le Leche League. I know she was scared as a new mom, and did not probably have a ton of support, though I know she did have support of friends, but it was 1976, and being this “natural” with birth was still not very common. And how very different it was to her own birth story.

My parents did many things very different than their parents- it is amazing how much can change in just one generation. I was able to connect deeply on the phone and sharing distance Reiki with my grandmother, my dad’s mom, for about 5 years before her death (in 2022) and learned about her birth experience with my dad- she was knocked out and didn’t see him for days. Unfortunately, there was not a lot of choice for women in 1951, and the patriarchy in maternal care in hospitals was in full force. I feel so lucky and fortunate that my parents had more choice, and I was born naturally, with my dad present, and breastfed right away (until my mom was pregnant with my sister I believe).

I didn’t know my maternal grandmother well, and she died when I was quite young, and maybe she questioned and was unsure about what new choices her daughter was doing across the country, or maybe she was curious, I don’t know. We can make choices to change the trajectory of our lives, from how we were parented, to how we parent now. So many of these choices come from learning new ways and making new choices that may seem totally weird. My parents did so much different, and so much was better and healthier, and for that I am grateful.

My daughter just turned 15 and I’ve done things differently and made new choices, different from my parents, and it is amazing to see how each generation can evolve when mindful about the choices, and open to the possibilities. I took another different choice with my birth, by having a home birth in Baltimore. My parents didn’t express too much angst about it, but my father-in-law (cardiologist) was very nervous about “what if there is an emergency?” Other than my husband getting in the birthing tub with his phone in his pocket and the next day flooding the basement while cleaning out the birthing tub, it was a beautiful and positive experience.

So many choices we humans get to make- life choices, from birth, education, wellness, where we live and what we do. Since 2009, I’ve taken huge “radical” shifts with wellness and healthcare as well, outside of the “mainstream norms”, finding acupuncture, herbal medicine, homeopathy, NAET, craniosacral therapy, grief circles, women’s circles and of course Reiki to heal myself and my family in profound ways.

12-step work is another choice I’ve made that not many people in my lineage have chosen, yet my maternal grandfather did, late in his life, which gave him 8 years of sobriety. This choice has also been deeply healing for myself and my family (partner and daughter)- making conscious choices to heal from the generational patterns of alcoholism/codependency cycles. The hope always, is to make choices that can and will break these patterns in myself, the next generation, and beyond.

I am grateful for the “radical” sometimes seen as “weird” life choices my parents made for me, from my birth and beyond, and the opportunities I’ve had to learn new choices that may seem different from the mainstream. Reiki is definitely one of these life choices I’ve made, to make a career of sharing this beautiful practice with others. It is not always understood, yet the profound shifts I see in myself, my clients and students keeps me motivated to keep sharing and teaching! I’m really excited to be teaching Be Rooted 1: Embodiment- Shoden (Reiki 1) and a brand new class, Rooted Reiki Review, which both begin September 30th.